WHAT DO YOU DO AT A “GO SIGN?”
By Jim Davis

You’re driving down the road. There’s a red sign up ahead that looks familiar. You begin slowing down, preparing to stop at the eight-sided sign. Then you notice that something looks a little strange. The lettering is different. By now you are almost to the sign and you can see the word GO where normally the word STOP would be. What do you do?

You would be puzzled, for sure. But it’s quite unlikely that you would just go barreling right on, regardless of what the sign said. Several possibilities would probably go through your mind very quickly. Most of those possibilities would involve suspicion of some kind of “funny business” or such. And you would almost certainly stop, because it just wouldn’t make sense not to.

Think this is a silly example of something that would never happen? Well, sure, a “STOP” sign that says “GO” is pretty far-fetched. But we encounter this kind of problem a lot. We even put up our own “GO signs” that are just as confusing.

We tell our kids, “Act like a big boy,” and then, “No, you’re too little to do that.” We tell our employees, “My door is always open,” and then make them schedule an appointment to see us. We say “use your own judgment,” and then complain when that judgment is different from what we think it should have been.

This kind of thing is going to happen from time to time. We are human. Inconsistency is part of being human. But, when we are inconsistent so often that people come to expect it of us it causes trouble. Conflicting signals keep people confused and frustrated. They stifle creativity and lower productivity. They create an atmosphere of fear and uncertainty. They cost businesses a lot of money, but businesses aren’t the only ones that suffer. Families are probably number one on the list.

The good news, however, is that this kind of problem is often easy to fix, or at least improve – particularly if we start with ourselves. Watch for that puzzled look on your kids or your spouse, and try to find out what it means. Asking is usually the easiest way, but you may need to do more than asking. When something doesn’t go the way you expected, consider that you may be at least partly responsible. And say so. It’s amazing how often others will respond by trying to offer to share the responsibility.

Dealing with the conflicting signals we get from others can be more difficult. But, when they realize that we are working to improve ourselves, they may make some changes, too. It can at least be a start.